LEARN TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY: Mending Relationship in Later Years
BEFORE I LET YOU GO…
As we grow older, it is natural for us to experience death in our lives. Loved ones pass away and friends relocate causing an absence of visitors. Some family members may visit regularly, while others rarely or never see their relatives. Family members may find it onerous to stay connected with elderly relatives due to personal demands. Visitation patterns may vary widely among different families. Regardless of the frequency of visits, the underlying theme of detachment can persist, highlighting the complex interplay between aging, relationships, and the evolving dynamics of familial connections.
We stay in unhappy or unhealthy situations because change seems scarier than staying put.
However, there is another side to this scenario. Unresolved issues ( The Shadows) can affect our relationships with loved ones.
THE SHADOWS
This blog examines the importance of acknowledging past mistakes and repairing relationships with family and friends. It emphasizes the significance of seeking forgiveness and making amends to prevent unresolved emotional baggage from negatively impacting present interactions. While these issues may not have stemmed from unintentional wrongdoing or misinterpretation of one’s actions, it is crucial to recognize the impact of our mistakes and make amends by seeking forgiveness from those we have affected. Unresolved emotional baggage can taint our present interactions, thereby fostering feelings of bitterness and loneliness. This will make us bitter, leading others not to want to be in our company for very long or not at all.
Memories have a way of lingering deeply in our minds, waiting to resurface at the slightest provocation. A trigger may occur from a familiar tune on the radio, a scent in the air, or a chance encounter with someone from the past or looking at old photos. These memories, once awakened, have the power to transport us back in time, making us relive emotions and experiences as if they happened just yesterday. It is fascinating how certain events or people can have a lasting impact on us, regardless of the passage of time. Memories can haunt us, affecting both the person who experienced the event and those who may have been affected by it.
Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty whne you feel ugly, your wholesness when you feel broken, your innocence when you feel quilty and your purpose when you are confused - Alan Cohen
LEAVE NO REGRETS
Recently, my older sibling passed away. The void he left behind was overwhelming a myriad of unanswered questions. He had three children, but only the youngest came to his memorial service. Although, the oldest children and grandchildren were aware of the seriousness of his illness and his passing. However, one of his children was present at his homegoing service to hear the stories and the positive impact he had on the lives of other individuals.
His passing has cast a shadow of mystery relating to their absence. The pain felt by his outspring and loved ones was emotional leaving deep sorrow. This heaviness is a constant reminder of unspoken words and unfulfilled promises that remain long after his passing. The pain that lingers in the hearts of his offspring is palpable, a poignant reminder of how unspoken words and unfulfilled promises can create an echo in the silence of their absence.
Despite his many efforts, or lack of effort, to convey love, a barrier was created that could have been caused by cultural influences or a lack of mutual understanding. Perhaps, it was his unresolved pain and fear of facing rejection that held him back from fully embracing his role as a parent and grandparent. He will never bridge the emotional gap with his children.
THE LEGACY
Address the people you have hurt in the past. When words and actions go unexplained, a person will come to conclusions that might be completely incorrect. The desire to comprehend the reasons behind past actions or decisions lingers and is often unanswered and unfulfilled. This unresolved longing for closure can cast an ominous oppressiveness that influences relationships and interactions with loved ones. The emotional turmoil stemming from these unspoken sentiments may inadvertently shape children’s thoughts, perpetuating a cycle of unspoken emotions and unaddressed grievances. Unexpressed emotions are a heavy burden to carry and may impact the individual and echo throughout generations to come. These lingering shadows of the past can influence our interactions and relationships, shaping our perspectives and behaviors in ways we may not even realize.
So, the next time you experience memories becoming a shadow, explain your story to loved ones and ask for forgiveness. Don’t assume that the lack of visits, phone calls, and personal conversations is due to their busy schedules. There could be a specific reason. The memories that have become shadows may not come, but they will never go away until there is reflection, discussion, explanation, and forgiveness. You may wonder why you are receiving a particular type of treatment or believe you did nothing to deserve the treatment you are receiving. Remember, someone may be waiting for you to say these simple words, "I am sorry, forgive me." The forgiveness is for you as well. Even if you do not receive forgiveness, you will have had your say and will be free to leave the shadows behind.
Do not depart from this earth without addressing the people you have hurt in the past. Unexpressed emotions are a heavy burden, which may impact the individual and echo throughout the generation. The desire to comprehend the reasons behind past actions or decisions lingers and is often unanswered and unfulfilled. This unresolved longing for closure can cast an ominous oppressiveness that influences relationships and interactions with loved ones. The emotional turmoil stemming from these unspoken sentiments may inadvertently shape children’s thoughts, perpetuating a cycle of unspoken emotions and unaddressed grievances. These lingering shadows of the past can influence our interactions and relationships, shaping our perspectives and behaviors in ways we may not even realize.
The next time your memories become a shadow, explain, your story to loved ones and ask for forgiveness. Don’t assume that the lack of visits, phone calls, and personal conversations is due to their busy schedules. There could be a specific reason. The memories that have become shadows will not go away until there is reflection, discussion, explanation, and forgiveness. You may wonder why you are receiving a particular type of treatment or believe you did nothing to deserve the treatment you are receiving. Remember, someone may be waiting for you to say these simple words, "I am sorry, forgive me." Even if you do not receive forgiveness, you will have had your say and will be free to leave the shadows behind.
Nothing is real to us unless we make it real. Nothing can touch us until we let it touch us. Refuse to receive anyone's condemnation. In the independence of your own mentality, believe and feel that you are wonderful. This is not conceited; it is the truth. What can be more wonderful than the manifestation of Infinite Mind?-Ernest Holmes, The Science of MindThere are steps that you can take to make amends. Listed below are a few websites
I have listed several sites that you can review to help you with the mending of relationships. This blog is very poignant to me due to the recent loss of my oldest brothers.
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